Sliced Pineapple and Mango
At the very beginning of my day today, while I sliced fresh pineapple and mango up for breakfast, I had a thought occur to me that had not struck me in precisely the same way before. Now, perhaps this won’t seem very profound to you, but for me in that moment, it was about the most powerful thought I had ever had. It was, essentially, this: It is unlikely that any particular idea that I have will be unique.
So you might think, ‘Big deal! So what if you’re feeling insignificant.’
Well the reason this was a powerful thought was that I wasn’t feeling insignificant. As most of you already know, I have more of a tendency toward intellectual arrogance than insignificance. As opposed to insignificant, I felt connected and grounded in myself and the experience of the moment as I carefully sliced the slippery mango flesh into a re-purposed quart cottage cheese container.
You see, I wasn’t doing anything of global significance. I wasn’t focusing on being anything other than myself. In that moment I was calmly aware that what I was doing right then was what I was doing right then and that what I was thinking was equally important and unimportant as well. And what was wonderful was that I realized that even though what I was doing and thinking wasn’t likely to be unique, it was mine.
I like to walk. I took a walk after breakfast up the street past my apartment and made a couple of laps around a park that is very well hidden by the surrounding houses. Here is the thing about taking a walk: it has a purpose, but the purpose is not a loud one. A walk is not like a trip to the grocery store or like a dinner date or like sitting in front of a computer begging words to come forth. While I walk I get to see what I see, smile at folks as they pass, and feel my muscles and skin object to various indignities I have imposed upon them such as the chest workout I did at the gym on Monday or the two patches of sunburn from gardening with my legs unwisely bare below the knee.
Flowers and sunlight on my walk
Again, my walk did not “change the world,” but on my walk I found myself aware that I am. Have you thought about what it means that “I am” is one of the names for god? There is a whole school of mystic thought that places a great deal of significance on using “I am” to describe that which one wishes to bring into one’s life because in so doing one “invokes” the name of god.
So you may be wondering, aside from a sense of solipsistic glee over my existence, why was my experience of my morning worth blogging about? Well, first off, just because my thought probably isn’t unique, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth sharing. Secondly, who knows how many times an idea occurs before someone takes action on it?
All of this took place quite early this morning, literally at the beginning of my day. As I have unconsciously filtered these experiences down through all of the strata of self, they have attached themselves to my upcoming birthday. On the face of it, this doesn’t make sense. Here’s the thing, though - I’ve pretty much always had the experience that my birthday just isn’t that special. As an adult I have the sense about birthdays that they are always a let down. I’m always intrigued by watching someone that I know well experiencing their birthday. Some folks will display forced enthusiasm while their eyes contradict their own sincerity while others will downplay the birthday entirely. I think we all want our birthday to be a spectacular celebration of our self during which the whole world rejoices and celebrates our existence. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t had anything that even approaches that experience in all of the birthdays I can remember. While we may secretly want this extravagance, I suspect we all have a sense of proportion and we recognize that while it may have been a very special day to us way back on the actual day of our birth, it is really just a kind of ritualized personal holiday on which we get to commemorate ourselves.
Happy my birthday to you!
So while my birthday is spiritually the day on which the worlds align for me, it is just another day to the vast majority of those around me.
And that is really the point, isn’t it? My birthday isn’t unique – everyone has one and a lot of people have the same one that I do – nonetheless, it is mine. You don’t have to mark it on your calendars, because it is forever marked on mine. Happy birthday to me!
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I have decided that one of the ways I’m celebrating myself and my birthday this year is to share one of my gifts with you. Before May 23rd, the first five people who order a reading from me will receive “Happy my birthday” pricing of only ninety-seven dollars. These can be first-time readings or follow up work – whatever you want. Click here Birthday Reading Offer if you want to be one of the five.